just passing through

I had jumped through so many hoops to be allowed to stay in China overnight without a visa. Now I had to jump through hoops to leave. 

How do you feel about virtual customs officials first thing in the morning? This video figment appeared, like something out of BladeRunner 2049 (but dressed), to warn us cheerfully about customs as we left China.

Guangzhou airport is full of warning signs.

Whatever you do, don't jump in the elevator.

The departure lounge did have this snazzy vending machine. I read 24h as 24th (Street) and felt momentarily at home. What kind of machine has instant ramen in it? And I was intrigued by a snack called giga bytes. Still, I didn't have the right currency, Chinese or otherwise, so I ate the junkfood the airline provided.

We flew for about an hour and then everyone was forced to disembark with all our carry-ons in Wuhan (Hubei province) and go through exit immigration. It had been steamy in Yangon and warm in Guangzhou, but it was close to freezing in Wuhan. The transit building is cavernous, with not much in it, and wifi I never got to work. Kind of the way I picture the afterlife, if I believed in the afterlife, which I don't.

They do have a Hello Kitty lounge, to welcome mothers with babies. I think that's Pooh bear with the goggles. Washrooms were a different story.

Why yes, that is an app projected onto the mirror above the bathroom sink. Confirming it's 0º Celsius outside. (Brr!)

The app changed quickly to an ad. You know, in Communist China.

This was the final ad, before I got completely freaked out by the two-way mirror. Who are these shouting chicken people?! 

Eventually, I found a cafe with noodle soup and 8 treasures tea (for cash only—I scraped into my emergency pouch and found a few dollars I'd hidden away a month earlier) and amused myself until it was time to board again.

Like most travelers, deep down, I love airports. Their poorly marked signs are job security for me. They are filled with people coming and going. Standing in line in Wuhan, I met a lovely Mexican family on their way back from Thailand. My seat mate for 15 hours was a teenaged exchange student, on her way to Atherton. 

That all seems so long ago. Now I'm back at home in Northern California, drinking pots of tea from Shan state and dreaming of the next adventure.

Gate 20

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to try to get a transit visa so you don't have to sleep in Guangzhou airport overnight. (BTW there are at least 4 steps left out of this diagram, including getting your boarding pass for the connecting flight, filling out a transit visa request, promising you've never been arrested in China, and retrieving your luggage long after it came off the carousel.)

But first, a few more monks. (Sorry, Declan.)

I was assigned a seat next to a barefooted monk on my flight to Yangon. Monks aren't allowed to touch women, even accidentally. So he had to be moved. I wound up with a bare-footed baby next to me instead.

My Grab driver had golden owls! I took this as a good omen. The Airport Hotel was wonderful, if you don't mind an occasional plane flying overhead! I even spied a bottle of our favorite Myanmar wine and persuaded the cute server to open it for a glass. He made a big show of chilling it, letting me sniff the cork, and pouring a taste with great flair.

Quick pool retrospective: Myeik, Yangon, Guangzhou (no photos allowed but huge and indoor)

No, you were watching 10 to Million Myanmar in your room, wondering what the question was. (Heartbreakingly, the answer was Donald Duck.)

But back to airport hell. The first issue with Guangzhou is you don't want to inhale. Gasp.

The second is figuring out the lines and paperwork to get the mythical 72 hour visa free transit. I had prebooked a hotel (for free) with my airline ticket.

I knew from Pam's terrible experience that I might get stuck in the airport, at the hourly hotel, trying not to inhale.

So I was determined to figure this out. Down to the basement. Upstairs by 7-11. Through the long hallway toward Parking 2.

It was all made worse by not being able to connect to any of the free wifi zones. And having way too much luggage, now heavier with all the tea and goodies I'd been buying, trying to spend my last remaining kyat. (Done!)

And then, like a rat in a maze, I found it! Gate 20!

I had to stand in another two lines, showing off my voucher, for which I got another sticker: the magic valet will find you and transport you to the Holiday Inn.

If you've never traveled in Asia, you may not realize that Holiday Inns are 5-star hotels here. I won the prize! Too bad I have to leave in 12 hours for the airport.

 In case you need to breathe....There's a big picture window but you can't see anything.

They do have cool labeled mood lights all over.

And matador art outside my room. And fake orchids in the revolving door. It's a little like Vegas in China, complete with buffets filled with seafood and a chocolate fountain.

Guanghzhou is the home of Cantonese food! I meant to take a day trip to Shenzen when I was in Hong Kong, but I'd already left PRC and didn't want to pay for a second visa. 

Ironically, China Southern won't let you use your iPhone even in airplane mode. Even though you're flying over Foxconn, where they're made. But that's a story for another day. Time for a swim. See you on the other side.

Part 2: in which I try to leave Guangzhou, after a huge group has our biometrics scanned at the entrance door